woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
