I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
