He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
