p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
