I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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