Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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