Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Only a mothe r could love this liver
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
