She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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