I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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