Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Its about making memories worth repressing
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
