I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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