And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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