my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
