dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
