My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
