i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I hope mine doesn't look like that
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
