Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
