you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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