I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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