Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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