I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
