Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
where does the pee come out of this thing
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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