Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
