Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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