I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
