is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
