I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
