I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
