by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He passed out mid-signature
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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