i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
