hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
im holly from the hills drunk
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Oh god it's open bar.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
