this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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