from now on my penis is your penis
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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