Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
