They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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