Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
