i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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