How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
and she was petting her beer can
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
