Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
