what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
