it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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