how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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