I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
