In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
