So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
There's even glitter on my cock...
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