I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
