Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
