Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
