just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
