He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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